The Royal Egagement

So as of midnight this fine New Year's Eve, I am officially egaged. It was no suprise really. Steven and I have been together for a couple of years and have daughter. Anyway the parents are excited because we are one step closer to not being sinners. Now comes the horribleness of wedding planning. It should be noted that I have already planned an entire wedding 3 years ago and called it of a few months prior because I realized my fiacee had a gambling problem. Anyway that whole experience has left me a bit jaded about weddings. And of course this time around there is less money to work with and more of me to work with. whoo hoo!

Happy New Year All!

Naked Baby

Ava has a horrible rash from teething. One of the things that helps is to let your baby run around naked so the rash can get air. I cleaned up pee 7 times today and some poop pellets once. There has got to be a better way.

Merry Merry

So Christmas is that crazy time of year when all should feel cheery and have good will toward everyone. But sometimes it just gets nutty. Decorating the house, buying all the gifts, sending cards, traveling five hours just so you can spend two and a half days on overdrive trying to see family. Not to mention remembering to get your kid in for their Christmas picture in November so you can get the pics in time to send Christmas cards. Because of course last year you were chastized for sending them after Christmas. Eventhough you gave birth to your child on Nov 28th and were still recovering from a C-section.

All that aside Christmas was quite fun this year. Ava was quite cute trying to open all her packages. Of course she preferred playing with the wrapping paper eventhough I painstakingly chose all of her gifts.

I would also like to mention that Greco's Pharmacy was having a free give away of merchandise to it's loyal customers becasue they are going out of business. I thought this was a wonderful gesture. When can you actually get up to twenty items for free including gitftwrap, cards, books, vitamins and such? Since neither my mother nor I had ever actually shopped at Greco's we felt this was a perfect time to check it out. It was a madhouse. Most of the people were women and most of them were older. These women and some men(just to be fair) were like warriors...charging in front of other people to get a certain card, calculating and counting to get their 20 items. One woman grabbed a bottle of vitamin C out of my hand and told me she had been looking at it first. Needless to say I did get my 20 free items and then by my mother's prodding went back in for 10 more cards. Merry Christmas and goowill to all!

Oh So Lonely

So I have decided to blog. Living in Meadville is lonely. I have wonderful Steve, my boyfriend, and Ava,our daughter but friends and family I have not. I get lonely. It is not as easy to make friends as it was in highschool or college. I have never lacked for friends. In fact I currently have some wonderful friends. Most of whom I only see a few times a years if that. Everyone lives in different places and everyone has gotten really busy with life. Myself included...this year mostly with Ava who does not allow for spontaneous trips or sleeping on my friends' floors. I have to say I am not really motivated to make friends. It is tedious and tiring. Trying to find someone who I like, is fun and can handle my dramatic emotional breakdowns is difficult. I don't want to put the time into it. Some of that is becuse I have a kid and some is that I am older. Somewhere along the line in the past three years I have changed and expectations have changed. But I am still the same... for better or for worse.
It is times like these when I make a big change in my life or I feel a bit cut off from the rest of the world, that I travel back in time in my head and flashes of my friends appear. Mostly college ones but sometimes highschool too. It scares me that I forget more and more about my own past everyday. Those times with your friends in highschool and college are so amazing eventhough you don't quite realize how amazing they are at the time. You are free and unburdened for the most part. The whole world is in front of you and all you have to do is pick a direction and go. Funny though I had a hard time picking a direction. I wanted to stay as we were. When you go to college your friends become your family, your less judgemental family. You live with them, eat with and sleep with them. Sometimes you even make love to them. A moment in time where all you care about is where everyone's hanging out and do you have a ride? I can see smiles and laughs of friends in my head. Visions of antics and fights and dancing. Alot of drugs and alcohol.
But alas things change and we move on. Responsibilities become greater and sometimes the fun becomes less. Though this may sound depressing it really is not that bad. Becuase hopefully you find someone you love or at least someone you like a heck of alot and can partner up with. And hopefully everyone will have a love for a child as I do. The more things change the more they stay the same. I can only imagine how I will be feeling at 37.